I have literally been staring at this blank page for two days now, mulling over what to say. I figure that if I just move my fingers, something brilliant will come forth, but I’m finding that this blogging thing is way harder when you’re months and months out of practice. Everything is different now. Different since the last time I wrote this blog and told my readers that I wasn’t coming back. I guess when I wrote that, I couldn’t see past a certain point in time. I didn’t know what graduating from college would feel like and I most certainly didn’t remember what free time was. The point is…I’m back. Why? I’m still figuring that out. I guess because it’s the only natural thing I can think to do since I am picking back up where I left off on my journey to health.
There was this defining moment over Christmas break that sort of steered the ship in the other direction. My sister and I were at my dad’s for the holidays. He lives off of a lake in the middle of nowhere and we have a pretty spacious backyard. My sister is a riflery and archery instructor at a summer camp up in Northern Alabama, and she brings her bow and arrows along for the holidays. My friend Nicole came over and we were out in the back, shooting and having a good laugh at ourselves since we were super inexperienced. Nicole is a photographer so of course she was taking a million pictures to document the first time we ever handled a lethal weapon. I remember flicking through those pictures on her phone and looking at myself in horror. Everyone around me, my friends, my family, my boyfriend, they all accepted me for what I was. That wasn’t the problem. Big, skinny, short, tall, it wasn’t an issue for any of them really. As long as I was just me. But it was me that hated me in those pictures. Just looking at myself made me sick to my stomach because I had let things get so drastically out of hand. There are 1.5 million excuses that I could use for why I’ve let my weight get so out of control. Some of them are legitimate reasons, but there is no reason good enough to allow yourself to die slowly. It was at that point that I decided that this was enough.
I have hidden behind the college kid stigma for too long. Lurking between buildings in sweatpants and pajama shirts, my hair a mess, no makeup, eating Chick-fil-A. Those days are over now. Yes, I am poor. Poorer than most people. I live on my own with my boyfriend with little to no support from my parents. I can’t afford to shop at Whole Foods, I don’t have a gym membership. I am a real person. Not a health guru. The truth is, I don’t have a job yet; but I’m working on it. My boyfriend works two jobs to support us and we ride the poverty line. I am not ashamed to say it. I won’t hide it from anyone. We have one car because that’s all we can afford. We are looking into applying for food stamps. This is adult life. This is what it is like when you start out on your own. I don’t see this as some kind of crippling challenge, but a rite of passage. You have to learn to live like the poor to really value what you earn later on in life. Still, even with all the challenges that come to us, I am determined to keep my health in check. One point that I am really out to prove is that you CAN live healthfully with little to no money. It is completely and totally possible. I am so sick and tired of hearing people say, “I’m poor so I have to eat Cheetos and diet Coke for dinner”. That’s not true and I am a living example of that. You just have to know what to buy. You just have to know how to prepare it. You just have to know how to make it work. One skill that I have developed over my 4 years of being a college kid is budgeting, meal planning, and grocery shopping. In my future entries I hope to teach you guys a little of what I know. I don’t really know how I know what I know…but it works every single month. Somehow….
This blog is a document not only to serve as maybe inspiration or entertainment for you, but as an aid for myself. Some people make YouTube channels to document their weight loss, some make diaries or take photographs. This blog serves as my proof that weight loss is a journey. It’s not a “one and done” kind of process. You don’t take a pill and wake up the next day looking the way you want to look. Some people take years to lose the weight they need to lose. I think the thing that has tripped me up in the past is time. Not getting the results I want in what I considered to be “a timely manner”. Having PCOS doesn’t help things either. Weight loss with PCOS is more difficult than it would be for a normal person since your hormones are constantly working against you. But it’s not impossible. Little known secret: Jillian Michaels has PCOS. And she is a fitness goddess. No excuses.
The way I would like this blog to work this time around is much more organized. I’ve created 10 different topics, and each entry will be centered around one of these topics:
1. Blurbs: Which is basically my thoughts and ramblings.
2. Recipe Test: This is where I give you one of my dinner recipes and break it down for you step by step with my tips.
3. Product Review: I will review a food item or a piece of equipment or something else that is helping me in my weight loss. This is where I will give you the skinny on some products I love.
4. Work it Out: This is where I will blog about my work outs, what I do differently or maybe what I like to do the same; my work out experiences.
5. Lunch Hour: This is where I will debut some of my salad and healthy lunch ideas to keep you from hitting the drive-thru on your break at lunch.
6. The Juice: One of my biggest hobbies these days is juicing. If you don’t know about all the benefits of juicing, I recommend that you watch the documentary “Hungry for Change”. It is on Netflix. It opened my eyes about the benefits of juicing and healthy lifestyle. I will go into this more.
7. Your Two Cents: This is where I ask you questions that I am not sure about. Since I post these entries on my Facebook, feel free to comment on those posts or here on Word Press.
8. Snack Attack: This is a section where I will write about my favorite healthy snacks. I am ALL about healthy snacking. I am the kind of person that does NOT stay full between meals no matter how hard I try.
9. Out on the Street: This section will be about choosing healthy options when you have eat out. I will talk about different restaurants I visit and how my boyfriend and I keep both the cost and the calories down.
10. Status Report: This is where I will weigh in and see how my weight loss progresses. So far, I am down 10 lbs since the beginning of the year. This will be the section that will be hardest for me to write since sometimes it will highlight successes and sometimes maybe even failures. Part of the reason my blog didn’t go so well last time is because I wasn’t being honest with myself. I would like to take time in this section to talk about what struggles I am going through and what victories I have made.
Finally, a little added bonus: On this journey with me is my loyal companion, my boyfriend, Denan. He and I started this project together at the beginning of the year and while there have been some deviations, he and I have been going about this really well. But he has a perspective that I cannot offer: a man’s perspective. Many have told me that my blog is targeted towards women and this is true since I am indeed a woman. But Denan is an excellent writer and is living this experience with me day by day. From time to time he may pop in to write in his own little blurbs about our healthy eating journey.
I think this is all I am able to say for the first entry. I am very thankful for the responses I received when I asked if I should start this blog again. It seems that (for some reason) you guys really like it, and that makes me really happy. I really encourage you to write me comments or to tell me what you like and don’t like. Last time I did this blog I found myself really clueless because many people were reading but giving me no feedback. It’s okay. I can take criticisms! But I like praises too 😛 Just let me know if you are listening so I know how I’m doing. I like chatting with others about this topic. If you ever have any questions or comments, do not hesitate, even if we haven’t talked in years or if we haven’t talked ever. I’m quite approachable. 🙂 I hope you are all having a great day.
Eat, Pray, Love,